There are
many words that become misconstrued over time due to misuse. Manifest
definitely falls into that category. The way I understand the term manifest
directly relates to how to create one's reality. From my own experience, I know
that what is happening externally to me (my experience of reality) is based on
what is happening internally (my emotional reality).
I caution
that in my way of thinking, I don't buy into victim blaming. Shit happens. Bad
shit happens to good people. Nothing of value comes from saying to a person
that they caused their cancer or their car accident. Or that there must be a reason they called the cancer or the car
accident into their lives. No.
It's
about understanding the blocks that created a dam and skewed the path. What are
the blocks that prevent your life from flowing easily? Let’s look at those.
When a
little baby is born, it is born without shame or apology. A baby is a little
drop of spirit-life who spits-up and poops and without knowing they should
apologize for having such human needs. As the little drop of spirit-life grows,
the world (via parents) soon teaches them that they do in fact need to mold
their self around expectations. This is an experience that their value of
belonging is contingent on their rearranging their Self to meet the needs of
others. This harsh reality is the beginning of internalizing: "something
is wrong with me!" The implicit messages become internalized: I need to be
a certain way to have value. Don't cry too much. Don't have big feelings.
Don’t be __[fill in the blank]___ or I won’t be accepted. Don’t have needs that
are inconvenient for others. And so we grow from the unashamed little drop of
spirit into a shame-based human.
Some of
the messages that lead to this idea of needing to mold around people, to the
point of denying our own Self, include:
-Productivity
leads to personal value (you are of no value on your own sitting around, you
have to do something)
-There is
a lack in the world: don't take up to much space; don't take too much food;
don't be too loud. Stay small. (Brene Brown refers to this idea as the culture
of scarcity.)
-There is
suffering… and an obligation to keep going anyway. Life sucks. Suck it up. Keep
going.
-Meet the
needs of others even it means your needs aren't met.
You can
argue about whether you got these messages growing up or not. You can probably
relate to a couple of them. There are unique messages you got in your family,
too. These messages are both explicit and implicit through an adult’s responses
to events in life or from your observation of family relationships.
How do
any of us know who we are without the mirror of relationships to show us? Our
first mirror is our family of origin. The way we are looked at from the
beginning, is how we grow to see ourselves. Our self-talk grows out of the way
we were talked to early in life.
Let's use
a more extreme situation for the purpose of example. A child raised by a
depressed mother or a violent father is going to carry messages of: "I'm
not good enough"; “The world is unsafe"; "I can't trust that
I'll be okay." As this child grows, the messages might become less
apparent and more buried within a way of being. Perhaps the child continues to
engage in difficult relationships as an adult or perhaps the child becomes
highly successful and achieves great things. It's not about success or failure
and what that means. It's about how the self- talk continues.
If there
is no room in my own Self for acknowledging my feelings or meeting my needs,
then I am not likely to bring good things into my life. When I set out to
create a fortune or to find love, I will be doing so from a place of low worth.
How can I manifest wealth or acceptance, if I carry in my own self-talk:
"I don't deserve good things."; "I am not worthy of being loved."
These
messages are not on the surface most of the time. There can be an internal
emotional experience that isn't filled with negative self-talk, but there will
be emotions. The underlying emotions are often fear, shame, sadness and grief.
So, how
to manifest?
1. Get an
alignment between: 1) how you think about your Self; 2) what you want; 3) how
you live.
2. Cast
out your intention of what you want through writing it out. Be specific in the
description of the future picture that you want. (Do not write out the steps to
get there. Manifesting is not goal -setting.) In this picture, how will you
feel? What will it look like?
3. Let go
of attachment. Manifesting requires we practically forget about it. We don't
work actively to think it through or to worry about how to get what we want. We
just let it go. Like a stone into the water and we stand back and notice the
ripples, but the stone is gone.
4. Live
in the alignment.
Here’s an
example. If I want to lose weight, I must first think of myself as "a
healthy person" despite my current state of health. Then I cast out the
intention of being a healthy person. Then I live like I am a healthy person.
The alignment is between perception of Self, a clear desire (want) and the
actions or behaviors based on that.
That
might seem oversimplified or ridiculous, but once the blocks are cleared out,
manifesting an outer world is this easy. First,
you need to understand the blocks. Why
can't you get what you want? What are the specific hooks in beliefs that are
holding you back? They are the messages that you were given. They are the
legacy that you are carrying around from your family and early experiences.
Unpack these untrue messages and the emotional logic that weighs you down and
you will create a life of wonder! You will feel like a hungry human who has
found a free buffet! Your life will be yours to live freely.
The world is but a canvas to our
imagination
~ H. D. Thoreau
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