Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Value of an Empty Mind

Isn't your mind mostly full, most of the time? Mine is. I run the to-do lists. Think about the family calendar. Think about what someone said recently or something I heard on the radio. I am always in a conversation in my head. I challenge you to become aware of your thoughts over the next 24 hours. Spend a day watching your thoughts and see what you see. I think you will be surprised how busy your mind actually is!

One thing I notice with my kids in school this year (after homeschooling for Grades 1-3), is that a big chunk of their day is filled with filling their minds. Facts and processes about letters, numbers, nature, art. "Listen. We're telling you something. You need to know this to make it in the world." This is the message schools give.

But here is the problem: The incessant chatter inhibits another whole level of thought processing.

An empty mind is a beautiful mind. Instead of having to focus on a task (listening to someone talk or working out a problem linearly), an empty mind can engage in more abstract thought and take illogical jumps from one place to another. Achieving an empty mind takes time. It takes s l o w i n g down and that's hard. Lately I have to take a whole day. It starts in the morning with time keeping my body busy- washing dishes, running, driving about the town running errands. Then I eat lunch and make some tea. My living room couch has often been my place to slow down my mind. I put on some mind-numbing music. The kind that acts as white noise to the myriad of thoughts. Something with an om or a repetitive beat that acts like a trance.

The state of an empty mind is a trance; a form of meditation; an altered state of consciousness. It's not simply daydreaming. From this place there are other ways of experiencing thought. The conversations at this level of consciousness are not about the physical world or the network of society. It's a slower pace or as some might say, a higher level of vibration. This place is a whole new world. From here creative thought-- the form of original ideas can happen. From this place I can take stock of my life and see what I want to change or appreciate. From this place I can connect with spirit and flow freely in a universal pool of love.

Children need this too. For a child, the empty mind means a chance to ask her own questions. To explore how things work and how things could work if there were no laws of physics. It is a opportunity for creative expression, but also a chance to connect to a larger space and place- to hear her own guides and know her place in a world beyond this one. It's like connecting to home at a soulful level.

To often we think that a full mind, a busy mind, is a productive one. Well that's not true. An empty mind has it's own kind of productivity: it fills your emotional cup, connects you to your larger sense of being and allows you to just simply be- right now, loved and valued for you.

After you watch your busy mind for 24 hours, I challenge you: take an hour and *allow* your mind to empty out. No immediate acting on good ideas. No TV. No directing meditation CDs. I would suggest rhythmic and repetitive music though. Just allow your mind to empty. Don`t push on it. Don`t pull. Just let it be. Remember to set your intention to have this empty-mind experience, but not fall asleep. Start with sitting up. Then just let the thoughts come and then let them go.

When you feel a conversation starting, get a pen. Write down one or two words or more if they come to mind. Play and see what happens. This is the place of your intuitive voice. This is the place of a new experience in the way of being.



Heather.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The right life

What is the most righteous path? How is the best life lived? What makes a good life?

I imagine these questions being asked by a breathless, sweaty climber who has reached a guru atop a rocky mountain. Yet, as reflective beings, we do ask similar questions in our day-to-day life. Without the drama of the high mountain climb, in our cars or in the shower, we ponder: what is the right life? The questions may look more like:

Should I stay home with my children or return to paid work?
Is it better to stay in the safe job with an employer or take a risk and try something new?
Am I happy in this relationship/ marriage?
Should I be tough on my teen-aged child or be compassionate to his/her struggle?
Can I tell my mom/ dad/ sibling/ boss how I really feel?

Of course there are many more questions where we wonder what is the *right* choice.

I recently struggled with a decision about what steps to take next. Should I pursue teaching spiritual circles and focus my efforts on getting more people to come? Or should I continue in the paper-pushing work of getting clinical social work status and taking a few graduate courses? Or should I work away making some money with less loftier aims and primarily focus on the needs of my still-young-but-not-for-long daughters?

I struggled with feeling obligated to my spiritual teachers. I felt that if I have been taught one or two things spiritually that I *should* share the gift. It is not meant for me alone and so I must pass it on. However, I am not ready, in many ways, to focus my efforts on spiritual teaching full-time. I am worried about making a business sustainable and I fear I might not be successful.

This is what happened to me during this time of struggle:

Talking to an indecisive woman about to have an abortion I heard myself say: There is no judgement. There is no *right* choice here. If you choose this path (in her case have a 4th child), your life will look like this. If you choose this other path (in her case have an abortion), this is how your life may look. This is the burden of choice. How your life is created is up to you. This isn't about who is inconvenienced by your choice, this is between you, God (however you understand that term) and your child.

So read that paragraph twice. First there are the words to a woman who is scared she will hate herself if she aborts her fourth pregnancy/ child, but at the same time feels overwhelmed with three small children already. This alone is profound and meaningful.

The second time you read it, it's a message to me about my struggle: what is the right life? Here is the answer:

The right life is the one that you create.
There is no obligation.
It isn't about who is inconvenienced,
it's about you, God and your child*.

(*The feel of "your child" is implied to mean my role as mother,
but also the implication to future generations- do no harm.)

So now then... what is the right life for you?

Well, that's just it. There is no *right* answer. Live with an open heart and hear your own wisdom. You know the answers. There is only love. When you get past the fear, obligation and sense of lack there is no struggle. You are the creator of your life.


With love,

Heather.